Joni Ang

(Warning: semi-spoilers ahead!)

So I saw Inception two nights ago, and just like the rest of Leonardo diCaprio’s movies, this too blew my mind away. I read an interview article wherein Leo mentioned that he was fortunate to have the opportunity to choose the movies he does. And judging by the movies he has made in the last few years, we can definitely say that he’s got taste. The Departed, Blood Diamond, Shutter Island are among the best I’ve seen recently. And his latest movie, Inception, is just as mind-boggling and exciting.

I found the movie intriguing because I, myself, am a big dreamer – literally. I dream almost every night. Most times they’re vivid enough that I can tell people the details of what I dreamed about; and sometimes they’re not that it causes me to spend a few moments each morning “digging deep into the recesses of my mind” to remember what my dream was about (srsly! it stresses me out, lol.). And as for “Inception”, I think I’ve done it to myself once.

Believe it or not, I mastered driving in my dreams before I did in my conscious state. When I was maybe 14 or 15 years old, I got obsessed with driving. For a time, it’s all I could think about — that I must learn how to drive. My dad and my brothers taught me the basics, and they did make me practice from time to time, but I get too scared when I’m on the road, especially a busy one. Once while practicing, I halted and froze in an intersection! The cars behind me were honking loudly while there I was, panicking behind the wheel, not knowing what to do next. Good thing someone was there to remind me to calm down. I got out of there alive, but barely. Lol.

Even though fear took over me, my desire to learn was more intense that I had to do some improvisation. So I learned how to drive in my thoughts. And because I’ve been thinking about it too much, my subconscious of course joined in the fun. And so, for weeks, I practiced driving in my dreams. Yes, while I was asleep! In my dreams, I usually wasn’t driving an ordinary car, but a monster truck complete with those huge wheels! (Go figure.) I would take out the truck from the garage, drive around the city, and when I was done cruising in it, I would drive it back home. The details of my dreams felt real — from turning the keys in the ignition, to shifting gears, balancing the pedals, turning corners, driving in reverse, and parking! My mind was responding accurately to what I was seeing in my dream: the other cars and jeepneys on the road, the pedestrians crossing the street, the sidewalk, and other obstacles.

After some serious practicing (in my thoughts and in my dreams), the fear I had when I’m driving went away. It’s like I suddenly got used to the chaos in the streets that it didn’t bother anymore. I was able to remain calm and do my thing to get from Point A to Point B. Then one day, I was able to drive on my own, for real this time, without supervision. And it was the greatest feeling in the world! At that age, at least. :D

Cobb: “The seed that we planted in this man’s mind, may change everything.”

How silly of me trying to relate my story to the movie Inception, HAHA!! The way I learned how to drive is of course not like what happened in the movie, but I just found a slight connection in there somewhere and used it as an excuse to tell this story. LOLLL.

Obviously, the movie is just fiction, but it does prove something that is real and true: that the mind is so powerful that it can enslave us in so many ways.

I’m mentally tagging Inception as one of my favorite movies. It’s a visionary masterpiece! Looking forward to Leonardo diCaprio’s upcoming films. And Ellen Page’s, too. Good job, June-bug! :)

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I don’t particularly know much about cosmetics, but I recently got my hands on this bunch.

According to my friend (the source), these are Singapore-authentic that came direct from the factory. I already sold two and I kept a MAC blush for myself. So far, I’m loving it!

Chanel Blanc Essential Double Compact SPF 25 - Php400 - SOLD!

Elizabeth Arden Green Tea Compact - Php340

MAC Fafi Two Powder Color Compact - Php400 - SOLD!

MAC Hello Kitty Face Powder Cake SPF25 - Php400 - SOLD!

Giorgio Armani Eyeshadow 4 Color - Php350

Lancome Paris Eyeshadow 6 Color - Php350 - SOLD!

Lancome Paris Eyeshadow 6 Color - Php350 - SOLD!

Click on a picture to see more info/pics! I only have one unit for each. If you’re interested, kindly buy it from my eBay page (I’m collecting feedback, hee). Let me know so I can reserve it for you!

Today, I was jokingly accused by a friend of being bitter. According to her, I’m bitter because I didn’t have a mom or dad who could support me now if I decide to stop working or if I become sick and tired of the corporate world and would just want to stay at home — which, fortunately, is the case for her. She can quit her job anytime she wants, be a bum for as long as she wants, give up work to prioritize other activities and still survive because she has a mom who still sends her monthly allowance even at the age of twenty-seven. I know I frequently rant about my job – and the stress and worry that come with it – and I realized this is wrong because apparently I’ve given off the impression that I despise the particular state I’m in, but this assumption is far from the truth.

The truth is, I am grateful. I’m grateful for the turns my life has taken so far.

Growing up, my dad provided us a good life. I was even teased for being a spoiled brat Papa’s girl when I was young. We were not rich, yet we had enough. But all of that changed just before I entered college, which was probably the second most trying time in our lives (the first being my father’s death). Thankfully, I was given a 100% scholarship in college and by God’s grace I was able to graduate on time. After I graduated, I swore to work my way up even though I saw that it’s not going to be an easy journey.

True to His promises, God has been faithful to me. I believe He directed my paths all my life and I absolutely have nothing to complain about. I am grateful for the challenges I have taken, the hardships I have to endure, and the rejections I have to push myself to move forward from, which brought me to this place I’m in – right here, right now. I don’t resent my parents for what happened to the status of our family (though I may have at one point in my life or another for I was also an angsty teenager once) because whatever happened to us only pushed me to become a better version of myself. I didn’t ask either of my parents to step up, but resolved to work harder to provide for them. I didn’t feel bad that, all of a sudden, the youngest child in the family became the breadwinner.

I am proud of the things I have done for my family and for myself. It brings me so much joy that I have been able to give back to them for the past five years. I got really close to tears when my mom told me that my dad once mentioned that he was happy because he thinks I inherited my being gutsy from him (I hope I make you proud, pop!). All the sacrifices I have made has paid off, especially now that we have a home that we can really call our own. The last time we had a property was probably when I was in sophomore year in high school.

I’ve come a long way to be where I am, and I wouldn’t trade my experiences (and the sense of fulfillment I have gained) for a life still dependent on my parents, who by now would be close to retirement had circumstances allowed them to go back to work. I have a lot of feelings toward the journey I’m taking, but bitterness is not one of them. So more than the tension and boredom I often feel about my job, I am actually grateful for all the blessings and for the ability God has given me to earn a living to provide for both my mom and me. I can’t ask for more, but I am excited for the things He is yet to unfold. After all, I’m only twenty-six.

On a slightly related note, I think I’m developing asthma this late in life. I can only guess why I’m having a hard time breathing these days — literally. The imaginary “asthma” is probably caused by my wrestling session with God (think Jacob). I am close to being defeated, now I must learn to accept my defeat with grace.

Above is the page I found in a 16-year-old notebook of mine. I distinctly remember tearing out the pages of this diary and throwing them out (Because I’m very private when it comes to my journals. Even after I’m dead, I don’t want anyone reading them.) so I was so surprised that one page actually survived. And what surprised me even more are the things I wrote in it:

• Today I’m dieting for I want to make my waist small. >>> Already waistline-conscious at the age of ten? I almost can’t believe it.
• I’ve listened to the radio but the songs are for God. >>> I wonder if I really had something against “songs for God” then. I doubt it.
• This afternoon I’m going to buy the cloth that I’m going to use for the Foundation Day. >>> Good for you, ten-year-old self. I bet your adviser has been pressuring you to get that shirt you’ll be wearing on Foundation Day.
• I don’t have something to tell anymore but I promise next time I’ll be serious. >>> If this journal entry isn’t “serious” , I don’t know what is!

I’m gonna forgive my ten-year-old self for her dullness and poor grammar, but for now let me go back to her first point: going on a diet.

I honestly don’t recall pressuring myself to lose weight at the very young age of ten, but looking back, I think whatever I did was effective. I was at my skinniest when I was eleven (one year after I wrote that journal entry) as evidenced by my grade school graduation pictures. Now I’m starting to think Joni@10 is much more disciplined than Joni@26. Good job, ten-year-old self!

Today – at the point wherein my metabolism has slowed down big time – it is so difficult to shed some pounds! Gym hasn’t been the answer for me (though I’ve tried it twice before) because I’m too lazy to get off my way. And for someone who’s juggling two jobs, losing almost 2 hours every night that’s supposed to be for freelance work just doesn’t seem right. (Excuses, excuses.)

So this year, I tried another approach to this weight loss thing. Contrary to what they say about “New Year’s Resolution” being just a pathetic excuse, the commitment I set myself to do beginning January 1st actually worked for me. From a whopping 120 pounds at the start of the year, my weight went down to 110 pounds after two months. I still have flabby arms and belly, but I noticed I’m fitting into my old jeans and blouses again. And people I haven’t seen for a while are noticing the change (I think this is the best indication that it’s working). Mind you, I had to work really, really hard to achieve this. This is no easy feat. Hee.

I realized that I had to do several things to lose weight and not just one thing in particular. Here are the rules I was very strict on myself for two months:

1. No carbs. Yes, that means no rice, no bread (not even wheat bread) and no pasta. The only carbs I ate were sweet potatoes or kamote (but not a lot) and SkyFlakes Fit crackers (this is what I substitute for rice). I received a lot of comments on this “diet”, mostly negative ones, and a lot of teasing but I just ignored them all. Eventually, my workmates and my family just got used to the fact that I don’t eat rice that they didn’t find it weird anymore.
2. No sodas and juices. Not even Coke Zero and those low calorie drinks. I also stayed away from iced tea, lemonade, etc. Pure pineapple juice was an exception for its fiber content.
3. No sweets. I temporarily bade farewell to desserts: cakes, doughnuts, ice cream, etc. But I didn’t deprive myself of frozen yogurts.
4. No junk food. Soda, cake, pizza, hamburger and French fries are obviously in this category, but I’m also talking about chips or chichiria (V-Cut, Potato Chips, Roller Coaster, and Tortillos are my favorites).
5. Drink 2-3 liters of water a day. This seems easy enough. Though I tried not to go over 3 liters because they say excessive water in the body may wash away the vital salts in our system.
6. *Herbalife. To boost our body’s metabolism early on, it’s important to eat in the morning. And since I’m not used to having full breakfast meals, Herbalife shake is the perfect food supplement and it kept me feeling full for a few hours before lunch. For faster results, sometimes I also replaced dinner with an Herbalife shake.
7. Exercise. This one doesn’t need much explanation, but I just want to share the specific exercise I did. I tried Hip Hop Abs, TaeBo, jogging, and elliptical trainer last year but they just didn’t exhaust me enough to actually build muscles that will burn fats. So I switched to the workout my bestfriend recommended: the *ChaLEAN Extreme. This is the best exercise for me because it causes me to sweat so much that after the 30-minute workout I look like I’ve just stepped out of the rain and got my hair and clothes wet. The Chalean exercise uses weights so the process of fat-burning, in my opinion, is faster.

After two months of torture, I cut myself some slack since I’m already seeing results. I’m still sticking to the things I listed above but I’m not as strict on myself anymore (I personally can’t resist Yang Chow fried rice. And we all know tuyo+sardinas is best paired with sinangag!) I also stopped working out from March to May because I was staying at my brother’s place (technically, I was camping in his living room) with four other people in the house. So from the month of March to present, I’m stuck at 110 pounds – which is actually fine since I also didn’t gain anything. Effective June 1st though, I started working out again (except weekends) and I hope to take my diet seriously again. My goal is to lose another 5 pounds in the next 40 days but that seems impossible now since I’m no longer an 18-year old girl. Lol, good luck!

Care to share your weight loss tips?

*These are not sponsored links! :D

After two years of having the same “look” I finally took time to remake this blog. It’s frustrating to think that it only took me two nights to create this (which explains why it’s not much) when I could have done it anytime in the last 730+ days. Yes, I was really just lazy and uninspired. So wherever I got the motivation to do this, I’m grateful for it.

I designed this theme with a ladybug after my cute ladybug phone charm. I’m not really fond of real-life ladybugs, but I find their illustrated versions adorable. <3

I also moved my blog from taintedsong.com to this “personal” domain. I purchased joniang.com some years back but have never really decided what to use it for. So I resolved to just transition away from my naive ideals from four years ago, and focus on building my online portfolio (whut?). After all, my full-time job could be taken away from me anytime, and my only emergency fall-back is my freelance work.

So this is my obligatory “I just installed a new theme! Hope you like it!” post. It’s a good thing that having a blog redesign provides an excuse to actually blog, isn’t it? I used to blog a lot two or three years back but things changed since I dealt with some major transitions in my life last year. As a result, blogging frequency has gone down to once a month or once in two months. Now that I’m starting to organize my life again, from furnishing my new (and permanent!) home to revamping my site, I’m hoping to regain the zest I lost and get back to blogging. But I’m not promising myself anything. Cos, most of the time, sharing thoughts in 140 characters or less is just more convenient than composing an entry. :P

So here’s to hoping I’d be blogging more often beginning June 1st!