Well, it’s 2009. Three more days and the two-week holiday vacation will be officially over. I’m already dreading all the tasks that await me at the office. [insert sad face here]

Pardon me for sounding like a pessimist, but lately I think I’ve become one. The past three weeks for me have been kinda hard. You know how I always say that I’m a sleepyhead? Well, I still am. Once asleep, I could stay still for hours. The only difference nowadays is when it’s time for bed, I can’t get myself to fall asleep. The reason is simple really, I am worrying about a lot of things that it’s keeping me up.

Most of the time, though, my mind is free of these things that worry me. But when those moments suddenly come, my mind runs uncontrollably and my heart beats so fast that I feel like it’s going to burst inside my chest. Like I literally want to shake my head to get these thoughts off my mind.

They say that it’s trials, problems (or whatever you want to call them) like this that makes one person feel more “alive”. Because if everything’s fine and dandy, it’s like you’re living your life caught in your very own fairy tale world where nothing could go wrong. It’s like a plot with no inciting point, climax, resolutions, nor lessons to be learned. I believe there’s a truth behind this logic. But if feeling alive only makes me realize how weak, scared and immature I really am despite how others perceive me, and that there are no quick steps to emotional recovery, then it seems that the fairy tale thing is in fact the option that makes more sense between the two. Yet one does not really have the power to choose, does he?

I was glad to say goodbye to 2008 last night. 2008 for me began nicely, but ended not quite right. The new year, on the other hand, symbolizes hope — at least there’s that to look forward to.

It’s 3:30am right now and I only had 4 hours of sleep yesterday, yet I still can’t coerce my body to drift off to la-la land, to a place where my mind is free of these thoughts. Oh how I hate my state right now.

Anyway, Happy New Year to one and all! May your 2009 be better than mine, and may this blog post not let you down. Hee. :)